Hey ladies! Hope you are all having a great week! I am excited to introduce you to Darcy today!! She is a shoe lover, just like me and one of the most relateable women there is! I think as Mommy’s we can all relate to her and her story in some way! There is much to be said about picking yourself back up and dusting yourself off, am I right?
Enjoy! And don’t forget to head over to Twitter and follow Darcy!
I’ve lost my footing and I can’t get up… but I’m trying
Three years ago…
I was a responsible teacher by day teetering
around in my 4 inch wedges, shiny flat ironed locks, blonde high lights, party
girl by night stumbling in shoes that pinched my toes. I had wedges and purses
in every color to match any possible outfit. If there was a popular trend out
there I owned it, and usually in multiple colors. I prided myself on being the
best dressed out of my group of friends because I was competing with the size
two’s and I was definitely not a size two, but I needed to at least act and
look the part. Maybe the void inside was filled with designer labels. Before
you stop reading because I sound like some superficial snob, please endure me
for a bit longer.
Three years later…
I pray there
is no snow so I can wear flip flops, as I grab my Trader Joe’s grocery
bag/purse/diaper bag and rush out the
door, 1 year old half hanging out of my arms and doing a mental check that I
brushed my teeth this morning and reminding myself to fix the bird’s nest bun
on my head in the car. It was just the other day I looked depressingly at my
closet because I had nothing to wear to go out with my friends. I don’t mean
nothing to wear because I couldn’t decide, or half the clothes didn’t fit. I
mean nothing to wear as in all I had were flip flops, flats, yoga pants, hoodie
sweatshirts and some “teacher” clothes that no 30 year old should ever be
caught dead in.
I sat on the
floor among my yoga pants crying and filled with anxiety at how I could
possibly show up to a bar in stretch pants. I was a mom now, how do moms dress?
I couldn’t seem to remember that I used to love shoes and designer purses and could
create a mean “smokey eye.” Lacking a
proper outfit for a night on the town symbolized so much more than my vanity.
It was showing me that I had lost myself. It’s not that I wanted to go
completely back to that old person, because it’s not like that life was so
fabulous. But I missed feeling careless and womanly and most important,
attractive. It has felt like I have spent 2.5 years on autopilot because I didn’t know how to heal the scars that have plagued me from a difficult
pregnancy and even harder first year filled with health issues for myself and my
son and how I couldn’t cure my fiance’s depression or even worse I couldn’t’
control it. I had let the downfalls of life creep into my soul, shaking me from
the person I used to be. I felt ugly and needed to look it too. At only 30, I
felt worn down and battered because while I was changing from party girl to
motherhood I forgot to keep the fun while I was filling up with angst and responsibilities.
with anything that falls down… at some point it must be brought back up…
Being a mom is not all doom and
gloom, and has given me strength to realize that when I’m down, I have to pick
myself back up. I mean seriously who would clean up the cheerios, wipe the
snotty nose, inspect butt rashes, and dissect various colors and shapes of poop
etc… there is not enough time in the day to sit and feel bad for myself.
However, at some point there needs to be time in the day for me to “get myself
together.” I tell my students, “Get it together!” when they show less then
desirable behavior, I realized over winter break that it was my time to “Get it
together!” So I bought a pair of mid-calf small wedge boots to wear over
my new skinny jeans. I went to Sephora and let them talk me into buying a bunch
of over- priced make up. I may not be able to wear those 4 inch heels again,
lets face it, I was way too clumsy in them anyway, but I am finding my way back
to myself one pair of shoes at a time.