Ryan's Point of View: #MoreThanASize

For those of you that don't know me, I am Rebecca's husband, Ryan. I am usually behind the lens snapping shots of her in the latest trends. Or lurking in the background of her insta-stories waiting for a chance to unleash my Aaron Rodgers like charm on the world (Rebecca always says people start following her blog for her but stick around for me-I don't know if that's true but that's what she tells me). When I heard what she was planning to do with #MoreThanASize movement I felt I had to share my first hand experience of how this mentality has positively impacted my best friend, Rebecca.

I’ve known Rebecca for just about half my life, seventeen and a half years to be more exact.  Over that time I’ve become quite accustomed to the same routine year in and year out.  It would be right around this time of year Rebecca would begin the battle to become the size that she thought would be ideal for bikini or beach weather.  Break out the Walk Away the Pounds, or Pilates, whatever the new hot at home workout would be at the time. Usually the gym wouldn’t be involved because I think she was too self conscious to go workout in a room with other people.  In her mind, all eyes would be on her and she wouldn’t want to embarrass herself in front of other people if she was using something incorrectly.  Who am I to judge though?  I workout in the basement for the same reasons and its just more convenient.
Once the latest home workout was started Rebecca would move onto the latest diet craze.  I can’t remember them all but I do know there was Atkins, South Beach Diet, Nutrisystem, and the old staple of Weight Watchers.  All of these seemed to work great in combination with her workouts.  By the time beach season hit Rebecca would get to what she thought everyone would deem an acceptable body shape for the summer.  She’d look great, stunning really, ready to show off to the world all of the hard work she’d put in over the winter.  

At the end of the day, though, who was she really trying to impress?  I personally think she looks stunning all the time, no matter what her size.  In her eyes, I am her husband and I am supposed to say to that though. I think, for that reason, my opinion on how she looks really means the least when it should really mean the most (next to her own).  Not be rude, I don’t really care how she looks.  I care more about how she feels.  Is she happy about herself, her career, our relationship, her children, her parenting, etc? Those are the things that really matter and to me that is what makes her a beautiful person-not her weight or her style.
Was there also someone or something that she needed to be super skinny for?  Yes, society!  I do think there is an outside pressure from society, the Hollywood types, social media, etc. to look perfect or be a certain size because that is what we see on television each day.  Quite honestly, its unrealistic and unattainable for many “normal” women or men to attain the typical Hollywood body.  There is only so much time in the day to be able to work, parent, workout, fight to be skinny, get glammed up, and sleep.  Something has to give and I think it should be the fight to look perfect.  How you look shouldn’t define who you are.

I think Rebecca finally realized this over the last couple years.  She was tired of the daily struggle of starving herself and staring into the mirror wondering how everyone thought she’d look.  Rebecca realized that she wasn’t truly happy with who she was.  Did she really want her kids to see and hear her each day questioning her size or worrying about whether or not she could squeeze into a size six?  Did she think I really wouldn’t love her if she wasn’t skinny? Our girls don’t care and I don’t care.  Rebecca is more than a size to us.  To us she is a mother, an entrepreneur, a friend, a lover, a trendsetter, a beautiful person (inside and out), and so much more.
Everyone of these pictures I chose shows a beautiful person.  Society tells her she’s most beautiful when she is her smallest. Society doesn’t care how unhealthy it was for Rebecca to get to her skinniest.  

F— society!  I’m with Rebecca everyday and witnessed the daily struggle to be somebody she wasn’t. It wasn’t pretty at all. She’s most beautiful to me when she’s her happiest with herself.  When she realized she’s more than a size!  She realized she’s a Mom, a friend, an entrepreneur, a wife, and who God wants her to be. She walks with confidence in herself everyday and you can see it in her.  I am proud to call her my wife!

It actually took her close to 35 years but I think Rebecca is finally and truly happy.  She is comfortable in her skin and has accepted that her best actually has nothing to do with her size.  Rebecca can finally see what I’ve seen all along-she is #MoreThanASize.


Winter Greens

It was freezing this weekend! But that didn't stop us from heading out to a little ice festival that York had. Cool ice sculptures, a fun ice slide for kids to try-it was fitting that it was barely in the 20's! 

Knowing we would be outside, bundling up was a top priority for me! I wore this sweater (which is now sold out) on Christmas Day, and have worn it a couple of times since. It's really super cozy-I wish it were still in stock for you all!

If it weren't so cold, I would have loved to toss off the Uggs and wear a pair of adorable mules, but that was definitely not an option. I am all about fashion before function, but I feel like once it drops below freezing I just can't follow that rule! 

Outfit Details:
Jacket: Old Navy /// Sweater: Loft (see similar options below) /// Jeans: Madewell (sold out, similar) /// Scarf: Zara (super old, similar) /// Sunglasses: Ray Ban /// Hat: Target (similar) /// Shoes: Uggs



 You're probably wondering, why #MoreThanASize? Why this movement? What is it?

There is so much focus in society on everyone's size. We are either too skinny, too fat, should be this size, should be that size, too tall, not tall enough. The thing is, it's hard for society as a whole to look past someone's size and see that a person is so much more. They aren't just a size 14-they are an impactful teacher and amazing Mother. They aren't just a 00, they are a really loyal friend and philanthropist. They aren't just a size 6, they are an extremely successful business owner and mentor. 

As I have shared in Redbook Magazine and on the Today Show, I have been every size from a 2 to a12/14 and am more confident now, at my largest than I have ever been. My confidence has grown leaps and bounds. 

Growing up and well into adulthood, size always mattered to me and was the most important thing to me. My worth was solely based on my size and my weight. 

I had just done another diet for the millionth time, was about a size 10 and hating myself because I was into double digit sizes. 

Being the perfect size was fueled by the latest fad diet, binging one day, feeling guilty, and as a result then barely eating the next day. Juice diets, to low carb to no carb. 

If I just go down one more size, I will for sure be happy. On and on it went, and with each new size and new weight on the scale brought the same dissatisfaction, and so the cycle continued. 

At my skinniest-a size 2. I looked happy but being a size 2 wasn't good enough for me-I needed to be a size 0.

Then motherhood came into my life and the pressure increased-I had to be that mom that women asked "What's your secret?" The cycle continued. 

My life was 100% dictated by my size, what I weighed, what I ate or didn't eat. I knew it had to stop, and I knew it was something that I did not want my girls to go through.

With my girls always around, I faked confidence. I kept lying to myself that I am confident, I love myself, and I am worth it. 

You know what happened? I eventually started to believe it. It also became clear to me that the memories my girls will have of me won't be the size my jeans were or that my thighs rubbed together when I walked. It'll be the giggles from playing Candyland, or pushing them on the swing so high they touch the sky. 

It's been such a journey to get here. I just turned 36, so journey is definitely the word to describe it. Do I love myself every day? No way. I still pick myself apart sometimes, disappoint myself, but I at least try everyday and that to me is what important. It's hard. It's work. But it's worth it. Especially if you are surrounded by people who love you, and especially when you are trying to be an example. 

Most importantly though, one of the reasons I feel so confident is that I came to the realization that I am not only worth so much more than my size, that I am so much more than my size. I am a great wife, a pretty awesome Mom (most of the time?!), a successful business owner, blogger, great listener, and funny friend just to name a few. My size doesn’t define me! I’ll say it again- my size doesn’t define me.

So what is #MoreThanASize?

#MoreThanASize is a movement to help women (men too!) of all sizes realize their worth is not based on their size, and that who they are and what they are matters so much more. 

Take a moment today, snap a selfie, and share your #MoreThanASize statement: 

“I am #MoreThanASize. I am (a) ______________”

Interested in a #MoreThanASize tee shirt? Pre-order one here


Winter Floral

It has finally gotten above freezing here in PA, which means it feels balmy outside! I literally did not wear a jacket when I was out and about yesterday-ultimately a bad decision, but when I stepped outside initially it felt warm. Guys it was still only in the 30's. Ooops!
With Wednesday being my birthday, we went out to dinner as a family. Obviously with the girls it wasn't anything too fancy, so keeping it casual was on the agenda. Per the usual I am loving all of Loft's new arrivals. I stopped by the other day while I was out to check them out-plus they were having one of their 40% off sales, so I obviously couldn't resist grabbing a couple of things. 

I love this top because it has me wishing for spring-love the stripes and floral paired together. Plus, it's really lightweight which makes it easy to layer now while the temps are still pretty cold. When it gets a bit warmer I see myself wearing it with some white denim and wedges or sandals!

Outfit Details:
Jacket: Loft (old, similar) /// Top: Loft /// Jeans: Madewell (low in stock, similar) /// Shoes: Dolce Vita via DSW


Birthday Q & A

Happy Wednesday and happy birthday to me! I must say, turning 36 feels pretty great. I remember being younger and thinking how old 36 seemed to me, but now that I'm here, I feel so young!

To celebrate my birthday, I thought it would be fun to do a little Q&A with you all! It has been a super long time since I have done one, so why not?!?! I will say I had a ton of business related questions-more than I thought I would-so I decided to separate those into a different business Q&A post that I will do at a later time! 

I must say, 35 was a great year for me-probably one of the best of my life, and it's going to be so hard to top. I can't wait to see what 36 is going to be like-I'm so excited!

What moisturizer do you use/what is your skincare routine?

I actually just shared in my post on Monday that I am a consultant with Rodan + Fields, although I am terrible at it, lol! I have been using it for several years and love it. Currently, I am using the Rodan + Fields Reverse Regimen along with the Redefine Multi Function Eye Cream.  I have been pretty lucky and have had good skin all of my life, although it's been within the last 4 years that I've truly started taking care of it. I know I should have started sooner, but it's better late than never! 

How did you and your husband meet and how long have you been married?

Ryan and I have been married for almost 13 years-yikes! We graduated from college in 2004 and got married in 2005-we didn't waste any time, did we?! We've been together though for 17.5 years.

We were both at Elizabethtown College for freshman summer orientation. I saw Ryan and his roommate Steve (he and his wife are Charlotte's Godparents) and thought they were so hot, particularly Ryan! Little did I know he had spotted me as well. According to him, he had told his best friend about me that summer, calling me "Miss Capri" because I had capri pants on. 

When school started that fall, we would see each other frequently because we were in the same dorm room. He did all kinds of things to impress me, like coming to my dorm room to borrow some bread with no shirt on LOL (my room mate and I were terrible...we knew he would do it so we told him the only way he could borrow some of our bread was if he came with no shirt on!) and telling me he had two jet skis (which we still pick on him to this day for that). 

One night before his most important soccer game of the season I had a tad bit too much to drink and was throwing up. I made my roommate call him (from our telephone-not our cell phones, because we had actual telephones back then) and sure enough he came to hold my hair back for me! I woke up later to him laying on the floor of my dorm room-I had asked him why and he said he didn't think it was right to sleep in my bed with me-sweetheart right? I promptly got out of bed, brushed my teeth (because gross drinking/throw up breath) and kissed him. The rest is history! 

Our first year together....my frosted eye shadow and his blonde hair!

(The lightpole where we met!)

Where do you have the best luck with finding swimsuits?

Recently I have had the most luck with Swimsuits for All and Old Navy. Swimsuits for All bathing suits are a little more on the expensive side, but the quality is excellent and they hold up very well. 

What does the perfect day look like to you?

Not working! LOL! Just kidding. A perfect weekday would be getting the girls off to school and heading into work for a couple hours (instead of working the whole day), grabbing lunch for myself at McDonald's (yes, fast food. Hate me, but I love it and wish I could eat it every day, so on the perfect day yes, I'd eat it!), maybe getting a massage, and then coming home to relax! 

A perfect weekend day would be one of my Sundays. I am off on Sundays-it's the only day of the week that Ryan and I both have off, so it's literally the only day of the week we spend as a family. We go to the 9:00 gathering at our church, then Dunkin' Donuts, do a blog photo shoot, then grocery shop at Aldi's. I think spending the rest of the day relaxing at home, playing board games and maybe going out to eat would be perfect.

What are your thoughts on capsule wardrobes?

To me, they aren't for everyone. They are a great way to pair down your wardrobe, but that can be challenging. I have tried before (years ago) and it just wasn't for me. Maybe if I would have stuck with it, it would have gotten easier with time, but I just didn't care for it. I really love to have a lot of options in my wardrobe, so I just could never get on board with capsule wardrobes!

What are your favorite t shirt brands?

Target and H&M are my go-to for tee shirts. I kind of like more inexpensive ones because I tend to go through them pretty frequently. I like Target because they are affordable, but I love H&M because of their length. They come in a lot of colors and the quality is so great! 

What is your favorite flip flop?

I don't wear flip flops that often, but as far as sandals, most of mine are from Target. They always seem to have a great selection of on trend, affordable sandals! 

Bras-where do you find yours?

I feel like I should be better at finding bras, but I am not! I desparately need new ones but just always put it off! Mine currently are Warners from Kohls. I like them because they go up higher on the sides to help with the whole sideboob thing. I wish I was more help with this! I have heard really good things about ThirdLove....I hear they do a great job with finding you the perfect bra!

Is there a style/type of clothing you would never wear?

Never say never!! I like to be pretty open minded when it comes to things that I wear, so I typically try to not write off something before I at least try it on. I will say though, that bodysuits might be something that I won't wear. I wore them in jr. high when they were popular, but I just don't see them being comfortable on my 36 year old body! 

Should I be following you on facebook or other social media or is all content the same?
You all can follow me on both! I tend to post the most on instagram, but I will share some things on facebook that aren't on instagram! I don't have an newsletter or email notification set up yet (a goal for 2018) so I share my blog posts on both!